.:Fanatic:.

The definition of the word 'fanatic' is as follows:



"A person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics."



"A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause."


"A person affected by excessive enthusiasm, particularly on religious subjects."



"Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea."



Or: (and this is my personal favorite)



"insane person," from L. fanaticus "mad, enthusiastic, inspired by a god," originally, "pertaining to a temple," from fanum "temple," related to festus "festive".



Now why would I decide to define this word? Because I really wanted to know if I was a fanatic for music - all types and kinds - and true to the word, I am!

I really cant stress enough about how much music is saving me and occationally rescuing me from the shallow waters of a high school. Shallow pools of people also.



Last night I had to finish the book '1984' by George Orwell.

I pray and hope to the heavens that I will never have to open that book ever again.

Being an activist of individual rights and small government, this book was a task that really took some strength to finish.

I could have just gotten on cliffnotes.com and read the summary and not have been as badly disturbed as I was.

The book is filled with betrayal, physical violence that is so grafic that I really was bawling through the whole book. It also included some sex, but that wasnt graffic, thank heavens!!!

There were a lot of things that made me bawl - and I am using that term right how it is supposed to be used, I was crying really hard - in this book. The betrayal was the biggest I would have to say. The main character was continually betrayed, not only by his suspected friend, but also by his love and by a person that he didnt even know at all, but really did like till he turned out to be a member of the Thought Police.

Then the invasion of rights was the second factor in my break down.

They brain washed him! They broke him down - his spirit - and filled him with awful things, with themselves.

Here is an excerpt that shocked me to my core:
'What are the stars? They are bits of fire a few kilometers away. We could reach them if we wanted to. Or we could blot them out. The earth is the center of the universe. The sun and the stars go round it.'

That was said by the torturour O'Brien.



I

HATE

THIS

BOOK



The last two factors to the bawling experiance was the physical violence that was inflicted, not only to the main character, but to everyone around them.

And last but not least, Fear.

Fear that this kind of society would actually happen and that I might see the beginning of it. I dont believe that it will get as bad as the book depics, but it could head in that direction.



I am one of those people who can feel pain of someone else if it is described or only mentioned. I felt the main characters pain.

I felt it to my core.



So the savior of this dark damp day was music. Frou Frou to be exact. They mellowed me down and got me to think. They cleaned me out and then set me to dry, just like washing laundry. I was pissed. I was irate, and at nothing really, but it was a big deal to me and I was so angry that I had to read it!

I feel bad for anyone who has to read it and I really strongly suggest that if you can get out of reading it, do that.


I love you all!


Last Minute Thoughts:
1. Punks are so annoying.
2. There is a special place in Hell for Theives.
3. I love spell check!
4. The spirit will always protect me when I need to be procected.
6. Abs are a really big turn on for me, especially if they are tight and nicely built;)
7. I love Facebook! I have reconnected to everyone from my elementary years!
8. The orange iPods are the best:).
9. Frou Frou and Sara Bareilles save me from myself.
10. The worst feeling is being scared for your life in your own house.

Love you all!!!