In the Dead of Night

Its crazy what happens after midnight.
All of these things you say you wouldn't do, happen.
All the things that you said you would do, don't happen.
I personally believe that you change when that clock ticks past midnight.
But I'm very partial to that belief. No one else seems to believe me....

I'm furious.
I really am.
I feel betrayed and forsaken by a person that I really didn't think that would ever happen.
But that is what happens when I idolize people.
I do it with all the guys that I currently like and I do it with friends that I really shouldn't.
We are all human and sometimes I forget that. But that the same time, damn people upset me!
Why do we have to make bad decisions? Better question: why do people not believe me when I say an action is a bad decision?


In ancient Greek Mythology, there is a prophetess named Cassandra that can see the future. Her gift is also her curse. No one listens to her when she speaks, even if its telling someone to stop doing what they are doing because they will become dead from that action.
I feel like Cassandra.

I feel like I give this amazing guidance sometimes to just have it forgotten on the wayside. But, then I also have to remember that we were put on this Earth to make mistakes and to learn and to have free agency, and that calms me down a bit. I do not like it when people do not listen to me.

It makes me feel forgotten and abandoned and unheard. Which in my book, unheard is worse than heard and ignored. At least I was heard in the first place.

Ignoring someone is an active action. take it from a person who had to grow up with Seth as a brother. It took me at least till I was 17 to realize that if I ignore him, he will go away. I had to fight myself just to keep from yelling at him sometimes. But in the end, it paid off.

What I am trying to say is: I have been told in my patriarchal blessing that I have the gift of discernment - and sometimes I forget that that gift is for my stewardship only, and that people I love and care about are not necessarily in my stewardship. Its a lesson that I am constantly learning, especially dealing with 19 year old girls most of my time.

Trust me, when people want my help, I will give it to them, but when they want reassurance that they have done nothing wrong when they have, I will not be there.
I do not lie to the people I love about things I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane person in the room and then I remember that I am the insane one. Its a double edged sword that one...

This might feel like a jumbled mess on your computer screen, but that is my life. A jumbled mess punctuated with exciting moments and tragic events. But the one feeling that I have had for a good 15 hours now is disappointment and I need to get rid of it.

This is the one time where I have been grateful that I am going to work tonight because I know what the hell I am doing there.

I love you all! Thanks for listening to the ranting, I surely appreciate it.

Andie;)

Upon My Liars Chair

Time goes by so fast.
It seems like I have lived in Cedar my whole life.
But heaven knows that I ache to go home almost every weekend.
I miss my family so darn much.
First semester is almost over and finals week is only a couple weeks away now.
That scares me to the bone.

I know that the song I am about to reference is a bit dark and depressing, but man is it cathartic.
Hurt by Johnny Cash (a cover of Nine Inch Nails), is bone quakingly beautiful. I swear if I wasn't in the university library, I would cry from just watching it on youtube.

I'm a hypocrite. I always put myself so much higher than everyone else in my mind, but when I see others do it, I call them out on it and get up in arms towards them.
It takes a lot of gumption to look yourself in the mirror and see what is painfully obvious. My roommate Emily said something last night about changing yourself. She said that it gives you a sort of elated feeling, like you can do anything. I completely agree with her statement.

I need to change a bunch of things.
I need to lose weight.
I need to get my homework done.
I need to stop procrastinating.
I need to take my life seriously and actually put my all into what I do.
I need to take pride in my work.
I need to be less judgmental.

To look at all those things is a daunting task. I could add almost 20 more things if I wanted to, but I will spare all of that for a later psychological evaluation.

Sorry I am so dark and depressing! Sometimes I just need to get it out and have no one talk back or give me the advise that I already know.

10 Things I am Grateful For:
1. Freedom of speech.
2. The ability to see others as how they are, not who they should be.
3. My cellphone.
4. My family, biological and adopted.
5. Sleep.
6. Music.
7. A roommate that doesn't judge me. Even though I have earned it.
8. Tattoos.
9. Johnny Cash.
10. Orange nail polish.


Love you all!!:)

Love,
Andie;)

Failure = A Way to Find Success

I think I failed my biology test today.
Its okay though, I am only freaking out a little. I'm afraid that I am not freaking out enough though. That is scary.
Sometimes I hate people who learn really easily. But then again, when it is something that I want to learn about I learn it super easy. Example: Nutrition. I love that class. Like legit love that class. Plus I am so damn good at it too. I get the answers right almost always. Its the one class that I work hard at because I love it and want to succeed.
I want to learn how to do that with all of my classes. Not just Nutrition.

10 Things I am Grateful For:
1. Change.
2. My mom.
3. Unpredictable situations.
4. New people.
5. Old friends.
6. Failed tests.
7. Aced tests.
8. Music that makes me dance.
9. Three classes that I have to go to.
10. Tuesdays.

Love you all!

Method to the Madness

It is interesting to see how many times I learn this lesson.

Just put in the work, and it will get easier.

Just go do my homework, its not that bad and wont take that long.

Just clock in and don't you dare think of running away.

Just one more mile! Just one more mile!

Just two more minutes with the boys, I will not regret it.

Just 15 more minutes of reading, I need to hear the gospel word.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!

And sooner or later the agony does end, and the pain subsides, and the joy begins!

I have learned that I am a certain human that more often than not moves away from pain instead of moving towards pleasure. This can be seen in a bunch of aspects from my life.

Bright shining example - homework: I will do the easiest, most painless pathway to get the job done. But when I do that, I sometimes miss out on the things that I really needed to dive in and get my hands dirty with. Does that make sense?

I feel like I have been saying that a lot: Does that make sense?

I have a hard time iterating what I want to say, but when it comes to the written word, I can get it all out there and make sure that I have all my ducks in a row.

That is why I sometimes like texting better than talking. I am a visual person and when I can see what I have written, it makes it easier for me to talk. But when my mouth opens, I better rethink what I am about to say or else I just get tongue tied and confusing.

But I love to talk.

I just have to get better at it!

Instead of last minute thoughts, I have decided to change the last little segment of this blog to -

The Top Ten Things I am Grateful For:

1. My roommate Lilly, who always knows what to say.

2. Yoga pants.

3. My great car that is going to be taking me home this weekend.

4. Heavenly Father - He really knows what he is doing.

5. Friends that care.

6. The opportunity to meet new people.

7. Stereotypes.

8. People that break stereotypes.

9. Honey Bunches of Oats.

10. My cell phone.

Love you all!

Andie;)

Funny Little Thing Called Fickle

Yeah, that's what I am.
I cant believe that I have moved on from the previous mentioned boy already, but I have. Scary how fast that works.
I cant really tell you why or how, but I just kinda happened, and here we are now.
The more I learn about college, the more I realize that people don't follow schedules. Everyone is off doing something without any consideration of anyone else's schedule. Sometimes its a good thing, and then sometimes it makes me so mad I could punch a nun.
I have also learned that these people around me have never heard the phrase 'punch a nun' and they really think its funny.
So, here I am, without the slightest chance of getting together with the guy I wanted and surprisingly I am ecstatic about it.
Anyways, there is my update.
I am so fickle. I really shouldn't date almost missionaries. I would not be able to wait for them.

love,
Andie;)

~~It Hit Me Like a 500 pound Lady~~

Isn't it funny how life has a way of making you eat your own words?

If anyone really knows me, they know that I love boys who are at least 6'2''. Basketball is my favorite sport. I had a crush on my next door neighbor - who is married and has two kids - because he is 1) a bball player at, I think, 6'7'' and 2) an amazing person.

All of my highschool heart throbs were above 6'4'', the tallest being 6'6''. I just love the tall guys.

So who am I just falling for hard? oh just some guy who is - I think - shorter that me. To protect my dignity and his, I wont name names, but let me tell you: he is an amazing person. I will be so jealous of his future wife.

Can I just say how absolutely amazing college is?

I just love love LOVE this:)

Sure the homework is killer, and I am almost positive I might lose my scholarship, but seriously: its all good!

I love having 5 boy neighbors who come over without calling or even asking. I love how they just walk in. I. Love. It.

I love how much my roommate and I are alike.

I love how I can get whatever I want at the grocery store and not have to worry about little munchkins getting into it:)

I love not having a curfew - even though I impose one on myself just because its safer for me like that.

I love being able to call myself a college student.

I love having guys who are off their missions already around all the time.

I love how I get to meet all these new people and not have any prejudices or predisposed opinions on them or them having those same thoughts against me.

I love how I can tell people what I really think and not be seen as outrageous or scary or intimiading, because others will stand up for what they believe in and debate with me about it.

I love when class is cancelled:)

I bascially love everything about this little town except the no shopping and the massive homework.

Now I have to go to bed because I am gettin up in the morning to go to work and earn my money.

Love you all!

Andie:)

P.S. Thanks for reading, even if you dont leave a comment - it makes me feel loved!

I Don't Know How To Say This, But...

So the student body president of SUU was in my apartment till 12 last night. I know, crazy hu? With two other guys and they all played the guitar and ukulele singing to my roommates. I don’t know how to take it.

One of my roommates says she is in love with a missionary and then does this sliding down the banister thing for the guys.

Another one of my roommates explicitly says she doesn’t want a boyfriend and yet attracts them like mosquitoes in Cache Valley.

The other one of my roommates wants a boyfriend so bad that the first RM she meets is suddenly the one – and the guy she was with at home gets dropped (after he drives all the way down from Riverton to spend time with her) like a leaking sack of trash.

So the roommates that are left are Lilly and I.

Lilly has a boy that is so great and she really does like him while I am kinda thinking that SUU is not the place that I will be meeting my future husband. Which just sucks because that means that the next four, possibly five, years will be really REALLY boring.

I’m having doubts about if I am supposed to get married at all.

I think I send out vibes of ‘beyotch’ to the guys and that turns them off.

Lilly is the best wingman out there.

I miss my family like crazy, and I am worried that I won’t get the time off that I need from work to go see them over the holidays.

I need a new job.

On the bright side, I have lost about 7 lbs being Lilly’s roommate. She is the healthiest person ever. And I have gotten up and gone to the gym almost every single day since I have moved down here. All thanks to Lilly. I really love this girl and it really was an act of God that brought us in the same house. I am so glad that it turned out this way.

I don’t know how I am supposed to do this: be flirty. I want the guys around me to know who I am already and to actually like the person inside. I want the whole ‘first impression’ thing out of the way.

“Hi, my name is Andie, spelled with an ‘ie’ not a ‘y’. I love comedies and will laugh at almost anything. I love to dance crazy, and have almost no insecurities when it comes to what I say. I have no filter and will probably embarrass you if you’re a person who actually gets embarrassed at what people say. I am independent and yet will be one of the most attentive people you have ever met. I will always text you back. I will try my damndest to help you in anyway if I make that ‘loyalty’ connection with you. I want someone to care deeply about but if they don’t care back I will sever that feeling and will do my best to avoid you like the plague. I am severely awkward when it comes to guys that I am attracted to. I am deathly afraid of being wrong and seen as stupid. I love to sing and will do it in front of anyone. To know me is to love me.”

Why can’t people just see that before they meet me and then proceed to be my friend?

Life is hard.

Love,

Andie;)

College, the ALL American Experience

I. Love. College.
There just aren’t enough words to portray how amazing this phase of my life is going to be. Of course I have been told that from the start of this experience, but it’s nice to know that people haven’t been giving me false hope.
Not only are the people friendly, they deliberately go out of their way to be nice. Who the hell is nice these days? People in Cedar City, apparently.
It doesn’t matter if it’s 10:10 PM and Lilly is trying to do her homework, people still want us outside to go hot-tubing. I feel like the fact that our bedroom window is facing directly to the pool/sauna area is going to be a blessing and a curse.
Funny Story Alert:
So our blinds were open while we were taking a ‘Dance Break’ from homework – without music I add – and I looked up to our window and see that people were looking at us. Correction: Guys were looking at us, from across the parking lot. Yeah. I drop strait to the floor (I have the rug burn to prove it) and start laughing so hard that Lilly curls over in hysterics.
Less than 20 seconds later we hear a knock at our window (second time this week btw) and there are 4 guys inviting us to the hot tub; Lilly, the girl that has the most game ever, happily agrees. An episode of Better Off Ted, and some tried-to-do-our-homework time later, we have another knock at our window. Again the boys are inviting us out and we simply can’t refuse. Plus Lilly just won’t back down from a challenge.
We get there and are coerced into cannon-balling into the almost-seven foot deep hot tub. The wimp I am wouldn’t even dare while Lilly gladly took the challenge and literally ran with it. I was so impressed with her. (Next time I’m jumping in too).
For the next 30 minutes we conversed and laughed and got sufficiently soaked with water. It was a great night.
For being a scaredy-cat I sure am glad to have Lilly as a roommate to say, “Andie, don’t think about it and just do it.” And “Andie, you’re hot.”
I really don’t know how I got so lucky to have her as a roommate. She is a truly amazing person.
I love college.

Last Minute Thoughts:
1. I will not eat more than 2 times a week out.
2. Heavenly Father takes away the fear if you ask him to.
3. I might be the worst wingman ever.
4. I am getting up at 6 in the morning to go to the gym so this is the last thought of the post.
Love you all!
Andie;)

What to Do The World Views and EXACTLY Where to Put Them

It seems like there are just more and more heart breaking cases of immoral behavior among teenagers.

Girls addicted to pornography, Stake Presidents daughters getting pregnant, Stake Presidents wives having sex with missionaries.... it just goes on and on.

I'm getting discouraged.

If all of the 'good guys' I know that went on their missions are coming back a week after they left, where are the actual Good Guys? If some of my best friends are making choices that will dictate their future - for worse - what chance will I stand?

The worst part about my friends is that they don't understand what exactly they are doing wrong - sorry understand is the wrong word. Realize, they don't realize. Some of them actually do realize what they are doing but they are so self-involved that they are in denial that the actions they are committing will hurt them in the long run.

'I'm just experiencing what a regular teenager is suppose to do!'

'I haven't had sex. It only counts if you have sex.'

'It isn't a big deal Andie. This is my life, I can live it the way I want to.'

And my favorite excuse : "I'm a different person than I was. I don't believe in some of the same things you do anymore."

Guess what.

BULL SHIT.

They know exactly what they are doing. Their spirits are SCREAMING inside: 'STOP!'

Why the hell do I even try anymore?

Why cant I find someone who agrees with me to the same extent that their actions will follow?

Why are my best friends not who I thought them to be?

I guess why this scares me so much is because if it happens so easily for them, how easy can I fall and slip on this very slippery slope? What is keeping me from doing the same things? What examples do I have to keep my actions and future in perspective?

I have made a commitment to myself that I will not have any SEXUAL RELATIONS (and everything that that entails)* before marriage, and then once I am married, I will keep SEXUAL RELATIONS between my spouse and I - and NO ONE ELSE.

I have to hand it to my amazing Aunt Angie. I heard a long time ago that she had simple rules for dating and kissing to keep her away from certain situations that would get her in trouble. Some of these are hers, and all of them are endorsed by the church:

No kissing while parked in a car

No kissing while laying down

No kissing on a bed

No kissing on a couch

No sleep-overs with guys PERIOD

Do NOT be totally alone in a bedroom with a guy

Double dates only

A lot of these are the same standards of the church and I agree wholeheartedly to each and everyone of these rules.

I am making a contract before I leave for school that entails each and everyone of these rules and I will sign it and put it up on my wall in my apartment - right above my bed.

PLEASE!

Have these talks with your children when they are ready. Five year olds are kinda young by the way...

If children know from the get go that sexual relations are prohibited - AND WHY - they are less likely to do them.

Another point that I heard, and agree with, from my dear friend Sydney, was that teenagers do not need phones with Internet on them. Heaven knows that we don't need to be on Facebook 24 hours a day. I am trying - probably in vain - to keep my fb hours to a minimum of 1 a day.

I know this sounds like a lecture - and it is - but I sincerely want the people I love the most to know what is going around them.

Sex is everywhere. Movies, magazines, music videos, music, Internet, stores, ANYWHERE YOU LOOK THERE IS BOUND TO BE SOMETHING ABOUT SEX.

The best way to defend against it, is to not look. Easier said than done, I know. But it works.

Love,

Andie:)

*If you are wondering what that entails, go look in the Strength for Youth or the church website. If you need help further, please talk to a parent or heck, me! I will answer any questions you need strictly from the LDS Church's point of view.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Blast Off!

As of tomorrow I will have two weeks left at home. So here is my bucket list of things to get done - in case you wanted to know;)

These aren't in a specific order.

1. Get a hair cut.

2. Go out to lunch with my girlfriends one last time.

3. Lose at lease 5 lbs.

4. Try and get some Maroon 5 tickets.

5. Get to IKEA.

6. Go up to Logan one more time.

7. Start packing.

8. Meet with my roommate (if possible).

9. Go on a mini-vacation.

10. Spend as much time as I can with the family.

11. Get my Macbook.

So there is my plan! I guess only half of these will actually happen since my life now consists of work, work, and oh - did I mention work? I currently will be working about 35-40 hours this week, and thankfully I have Saturday off for Sydney's baptism and Tim McGraw.

I love you all! Hope you are doing well!

Love,

Andie;)

~ A Whole Lot To Do, and NO Time To Do It ~

Moving Day Count Down:

52 Days.

I'm leaving home on August 17th to go down to Cedar City for SUU.

Every time I think about this it gives me butterflies. I seriously cannot wait. But at the same time, I've experienced this bittersweet after taste to the 'I'm almost outta here' attitude.

And to be completely honest, I think mom has finally started to realize that this is the real deal here. I'm really moving out.

I'm really starting my life.

I'm really going to be on my own.

Of course I have some doubts and fears about what is going to be happening in the next little while, but if I keep strong to the scriptures and the gospel, I have a feeling that those thoughts will slowly go away.

My best friend is leaving on Sunday.

She is the only person who I have truly loved and would do anything for since 9th grade.

She leaves for college in Pittsburgh - after her tour around Europe - and I probably wont see her till Christmas.

First of all, I'm absolutely pissed that I don't get more time with her this summer. We have only had about 3 weeks of it, and that isn't even a 3rd of the time I have here in Bountiful.

I have learned through a lot of experiences this summer that the unexpected will happen no matter how prepared you are, or you think you are.

I person I thought I held dear turned out to be a fake.

I got a promotion that I have been praying for for weeks now.

My little red car died on me a week and a half ago.

But from all that, I think that the lesson is: Take trials with a good and humble attitude and the consequences wont be a bad as they seem to be.

Plus no one likes a Debbie Downer!

I want to thank everyone who has written and sent cards for my graduation. That really was so thoughtful and nice of you guys.

Graduation was a blast and I am so so SO happy that it is finally over. I cannot convey the immense relief and happiness that I get from knowing that I never have to go back to High School again. Especially Bountiful High.

The next few weeks will be so interesting.

I have to buy a new car.

My family is trying to get a new house and move out.

Get a new Macbook.

And save up enough money for my housing in Cedar.

Wish me good luck guys! I'm gonna need it:)

Last Minute Thoughts:

1. I love the show Psych.

2. I am getting some feelings of Nostalgia every time I pass my high school.

3. I am so dang proud of my cousin Meghan for being so brave and Christ-like going down to Ecuador and helping those little orphans.

4. I cannot help but give another amazing Air-Hug to MaRea Hess. She has helped me so much with information on computers and phones, I seriously would be lost in that department without her!

5. I love peanut butter.

6. I love chocolate.

7. I am so glad that I have learned how to work and be a good employee now.

8. I love my parents so dang much.

9. Missing my family will probably be the hardest thing for me down at SUU.

10. I get so excited thinking about going to IKEA to shop for dorm stuff!!!:)

Love you all!

Andie;)

~End of the Road~

I cant help but think that time is flying by too fast.

It feels like only yesterday I began my first day in High School. Its crazy how much has happened since that day.

Met wonderful people who eventually would become some of my best friends.

Met a guy who made me feel like I was 'wantable'.

Got a job that taught me so much, including how to have patients with people, how to communicate, and how to respectfully treat people I meet in the restaurant business.

I cant really explain how much I have learned since my first day at Costa. The whole 'hiring process' was one that is rarely heard of. I mean, who just walks in, asks for an application, and then gets hired without even filling it all the way out? Surely not every one has those experiences. Then came those lessons where "the customer is always right" and "arguing gets you no where" and "the best communication is speaking with respect and truth".

Then came the relationships that went along with those lessons, and I really wouldn't have changed a thing. Five General managers, at least 10 assistant managers, and countless shift-leads and coworkers.

Its like its own mini society, where these people spend 5-10 hours with the same people at least 3 times a week. Its more time I spend at home or at school. These people see the good and the bad, the mess ups and the triumphs, and somehow it moves us to be closer to these people, even if we don't really acknowledge it at first.

The best/worst part of this is that you don't get to choose these people at all. At school you can choose to move away from people who you have a problem with, and you also get to choose your friends that you spend your extra time with, but at work, these people are chosen by a higher-up and you have no say in the matter.

I have met the most interesting people through Costa Vida. I have met a drag queen, a swinger, a neurotic control freak (actually a few of them), a heroin addict, a borderline gay Mexican man who talks too fast for me to understand half of the things that he says, a reserved mumbler, and most of all, an amazing wonderful caring person who doesn't know how great she really is.

These people have helped me shape the person that I am today - even if meeting them was a bad, tear inducing experience.

But I feel blessed nonetheless by what my Heavenly Father has done for me in the past few weeks. I cant help but feel unworthy of all the amazing revelations and blessings that have happened, they are that wonderful. Heaven knows that I really couldn't do all of the things that I have without the immense help from my heavenly angels, Father, and guidance.

For all of those who have been with me from the beginning, I'm re-introducing an old/new concept.

Last Minute Thoughts:

1. Time flies and there really is no way of catching it, except for living in the moment.

2. In the words of President Monson, "Find the joy in the journey".

3. Maroon 5 is my favorite band. Bar none. Quickly followed by Sara Bareilles, Muse, and until very recently Nicki Manaj.

4. Graduation is June 3rd at 7 o'clock. But since I have limited tickets, only parents and grandparents will be attending the ceremony - so count yourself lucky if you don't have to go! I don't even want to sit there for 3 hours!

5. Only three more weeks left... I cant help but want to cry. One of the biggest parts of my life has almost ended.

6. I don't think I will end up going to my high school reunions.

7. My Aunt MaRea is one of the most talented people I know.

8. I ripped a part of my hamstring and it hurts like hell.

9. My favorite things to eat right now is bananas, peanut butter, and V8 juice.

10. I got Seth a job at Costa. I think he will be a sufficient replacement for me.

11. I have so much to do in so little time!

12. I think I am going to 15 with these thoughts...

13. I'm a planner. I have to have a plan. Its rather annoying and I think I'm going to try and give it up while I'm in college.

14. I will be fully accepting care packages from anyone who wants to send me one once I have moved down to Cedar City. Among the list of needs, there are: Tampons, chocolate, peanut butter, and most of all letters! I probably wont be coming home as much as I like seeing as how gas prices have risen dramatically. I would love letters, notes, and encouraging advise.

15. The more time flies by, the more I start to miss my family - even though I haven't moved out yet. Its rather ridiculous.

Love you all!

Comment please!!!:)

Andie

Panties in a Wad

I cant believe how uptight some people are. Granted, I'm not talking about things like alcohol, drugs, or immoral acts. I'm talking about how much people really are strung and how tightly pulled some peoples internal piano wires are. Its kind of a funny story how I got on this topic. Today in English we had a substitute. She. Was. A. Beast. We were supposed to work on our research papers, which half of mine is already done, and she wouldn't let us use our phones, ipods, or have any water bottles or such. I was like, "Really? Isn't there sub code that requires you NOT to CARE about stuff like that?" Seriously. Then she told us to sit spaced out so that we wouldn't 'disturb' each other, meanwhile she would walk around and ask certain students - the ones that didn't make fun of her - questions about our research topics. These weren't one word answer questions either. They were, "What are your thoughts on the action US government is using in Lybia...?" kinda questions. It makes me a bit crazy to tell you the truth. I am an adult. Legally 18 anyways. And this was ridiculous. Best yet, she chose to stand right over me almost the whole time. I'm kinda done with people like that. But, God loves them and so should I. Doesn't mean I do though! HAHAH! Love, Andie:)

~Cathartic~

Cathartic - an emotional purging.

Yeah.

That's kind of what writing is for me.

That and music is what lets me release what is all bottled up inside.

My high school career is at the end of its road. Seriously. We've had 12 years of schooling now and it has gone by like that.

I'm finding it hard to feel sad or emotionally attached to my last 3 years of high school.

To be completely honest - people at Bountiful High are douche-bags.

The guys are cocky and arrogant and not to mention so shallow that fish would drowned in those waters. If your thinking I'm exaggerating, ask anyone that wanders those red brick walls, they will tell you the same thing.

Truly beautiful people have it really hard. I feel bad for them. And please spare me the "Andie, your beautiful." spiel, I know I am. But not like some of the people that go to my school. Its like people are taking prenatal beautiful pills that make their children gorgeous. I'm. Not. Kidding.

But there are some people there that make me rethink how amazing people really are, when they aren't in front of an audience.

Hayden - and no, that is not his real name - for example. I have had a crush on him since 2nd grade and to tell you the truth, he is an amazing guy. Brilliantly smart and hot too. He has the whole package to be honest. Plus, he talks to me and smiles at me in the halls. This might not be a big deal, but since I have aerobics and yoga every day, I have given up trying to be cute at school - so it is a big deal.

Men are visual creatures. And no matter how you put it, they like pretty things. Shiny things. And beautiful things. Its not a surprise and its expected and truthfully, I like pretty things too!

~~~~~~~~~Side story. Today I took Ari, Hannah, Aidan, and Sydney to get slushies after school and while I was backing out of the parking spot, there was an amazingly striking guy walking out. I had to tell myself to look back at the road because I was in danger of crashing into another car! But this just proves my point! Humans love pretty. Thats probably why I love What Not To Wear and Americas Next Top Model, I love to see something transformed from 'Eww' to 'WOW'.

But back to my point. The boys (and thats what they are, boys) at B-Town High are shallow, and crude, and I want out. Now. I want a returned missionary. I want a first date. I want a first kiss. I want to be taken to Prom and wear a pretty dress. And I probably wont get that in the next 12 weeks of high school. But that is ultimately okay! It builds character! Stay clean right? Yeah. Thats my mantra right now!

I am happy right now.

Heavenly Father is showing me that I deserve amazing things, and I just have to work for them, and also believe that I deserve them. Work hard, and let God do the rest. Thats my new mantra.

Happy Reading People!

Love,

Andie;)